Why real men DO buy women flowers

Why real men DO buy women flowers

By John DeVore

Men should buy women flowers. They are colorful. They smell nice. And without them, flora would never get laid. To many, purchasing flowers is cliché or corny or tacky. And to others, it's an outdated ritual in our modern era of gender equality.

I'd like to address the men reading this (all five of you): buy the broads flowers. Trust me. And now to all the women reading, who outnumber us dudes 100 to 1: allow the dorks in your life to buy you flowers. Trust me.

Flowers are not a romantic punchline, nor are they a symbol of patriarchal dominance. Buying daisies or lilies or chrysanthemums for the woman you love is one of those things a man just regularly does. This is a lesson my old man taught me.

Maybe it hearkens back to a time when men were gorillas in gray suits and women were trophies soaking their hands in bowls of Palmolive liquid soap -- a time when flowers were employed to mend broken promises, to make up for forgotten dinner dates, or to apologize for lipstick-stained shirt collars.

Those days are in the past, of course. Flowers do not resolve conflicts, nor do they anesthetize. Now that I think about it, they never did. But my dad had a different reasoning for surprise roses. He was always buying my mom flowers, chocolates, and trinkets. Her absentminded whispers while leafing through a catalog would be heard and little surprise gifts would appear at the doorstep.

Most of what I know about women I learned from how my dad treated my mother. I'd be a better man if I followed his example more fastidiously, but I haven't, and that's partially why I've spent so many years driving relationships off of cliffs. But some lessons stick out.
Theirs was a love affair that lasted four decades. He would sing to her in public, and she'd blush and beg for him to stop. They never seemed to tire of each others' gentle words. And 45 minutes after he died, on my mother's birthday, FedEx walked into the ICU with her present -- a fancy brand-name bag that escapes me, but that I'm pretty sure is sold in piles on the streets of New York.

While my mother was in a street fight with doctors (and a dependably cruel universe) for every dwindling minute of my dad's life, he had been sitting up in his hospital bed, buying her something he knew she'd love. This was days before the awful plunge.

My dad knew that buying a gift for that person who'll laugh at your terrible jokes, kiss you with lips and breath, and hold your hand as a needle searches for your vein is just a way of saying "I'm thinking about you when you're not here."

And that's what flowers are, just a simple, easy way of letting someone know they were in your thoughts. That's it. It's not complicated. Flowers announce: out of sight, still in my mind and heart. It is unerringly human to want to know that someone is thinking about you when you are not around.

I think women, especially, worry that all men have short attention spans and for the most part -- Oh hey! When did I buy this can of beans? -- it's not an unfounded anxiety. I know I've forgotten things like birthdays (spring?), anniversaries (Tuesday?) and eye color (mostly white?).

But if a man is in love, he carries that love under his skin like a nerve. Such is the magnificence of man, however, that we're solidly confidant that your every third thought is about us. Right? Right? Oh, sarcasm! Women are the more conscientious gender; men are the more eat-with-our-fingers gender. I think that is fair.

I recently bought flowers for a lady I'm a' courting. We were set to meet at the soda jerk for a malt before skipping over for a double-feature monster movie at the picture palace. I had been thinking of her all day, anticipating the date. She's out of my league and that's how it should be. It's never too late to relearn passed-down life lessons. I was nervous, and couldn't shake her freaking beautiful face out from behind my eyelids.

So I did what my dad would have done. What a man does. I stormed into a florist's shop, picked out a bunch of suitably fragrant flowers, paid for them, and marched right back outside. A man with a bouquet of flowers is a real man.

I carried them the way you'd carry a rifle at a firing range with the barrel pointed down. I received multiple dude nods from men I walked past. They were acknowledging that I was on my way to woo a woman, which is our primary programming. I even received an approving nod from a pair of lesbians who also knew I was doing my duty.I mean, it was just a date. And the vegetation cost me all of ten bucks. The plants would be dead within a week anyway. But at least she would know that for that day, her name barely escaped my lips.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/10/16/tf.real.men.buy.flowers/index.html

看著你的睡臉失眠

這晚，我失眠了。

看著你的睡臉失眠。

氣實在生不起來，
只能怪自己從小到大被寵著長大，
不是自己一個人睡，
不是自己睡慣的床，
不能好好的伸展的身體……
任何一個小小的原因都可以令我失眠。

啊，好累。
眼睛開始有點痛了。
只是，我還是睡不著。

時鐘。
打呼。
床舖。
愛人。

這些都不是理由。

不安。

這才是理由吧。

最少，
可以看著你的睡臉失眠，
也算是小小的幸福吧……

文化差異

這是前幾天發生的事。

星期四那天跟班上的同學一起去樂天世界玩樂時，不知道是因為那天早上喝太多咖啡，還是因為在玩機動遊戲前吃了太多東西，在玩畢某個機動遊戲後，不但頭暈，還進洗手間把吃了的東西全吐了出來，之後就只好納悶的坐著休息。

突然電話就來了。

當我韓國緊急聯絡人的哥哥來電告訴我說，宿舍的人剛剛打電話給他，說我得在當天就搬出去。

聽到的時候真的嚇了好一大跳。

我的天，明明一兩星期前把港幣一萬多的學費跟住宿費付了出去，現在卻跟我說我今天就得搬出去？這是哪門子的道理？當時真的氣到髒話都說出來了。實在也太沒有道理了，怎麼可以這樣……那我付了出去的錢，到底是用來做什麼的呢？

結果好像只有我一個人氣得在那邊急。

電話裡邊的哥哥還跟我用很冷靜的語氣說「你要有耐性呀，我會跟他們說一下的。」

啊，當然呀，付錢的人不是你，要搬出去的人也不是啦，不氣也是正常的，呵呵呵。

後來事情算是解決了，哥哥跟我說，應該是學校那邊跟宿舍溝通出現了問題，所以才會出現這樣的情況，而且對方有跟他說他們會跟宿舍次聯絡，如果再有問題也會再聯絡他，因為直至現在，對方也一直沒有再跟哥哥聯絡，所以事情總算是解決了。

可是我卻一點也沒有事情解決了的感覺。

我只覺得氣。

不是說「我付了錢我就是大爺」，只是這次我真的有那種「我付的錢很不值得」的感覺。

或者這真的是文化的差異吧。

在香港，錢付了出去，得不到應有的服務，是會被投訴的。

付了錢，理應消費者是能得到相應的服務的呀。所以我真的不能理解為何我付了那麼一筆不少的金錢出去，得到的卻是「你得在今天搬出去耶」的回應。

哥哥的語氣卻是冷靜得這就像是家常便飯一樣。

那很抱歉，我真的吃不下這一頓家常便飯。


後來再跟哥哥出去聊天，他對我還沒對這事釋懷感到很無奈，跟我說我不是錯的人，實在不應該這麼生氣的，也實在不應該想著要去辦公室罵人什麼的。

可是我真的認為，作為消費者去爭取應得的服務，這是最正常不過的事，不是嗎？

你在那邊無奈，不好意思，我理解的。作為韓國人，自己的韓國的人被人討厭，理所當然會覺得尷尬，可是這世上一樣米養百樣人，有像你一樣好的韓國人，也有像那個辦公室裡一樣處事馬虎的人呀。

唉，我也不知道自己在說什麼了。

真的只能說，這是文化上的差異吧。

然後，我再上了一課，結論是，將來我絕對不要變成像那位學校職員一樣處事馬虎的爛人。

My 5th language

廣東話，英語，國語，客家話以後，
韓語就是我的 5th language.

在香港學習的時候，
抱著輕鬆隨便的心態學著，
啊考試要到了嗎？
老師老師，給我們提示嘛，
不然考不好怎麼辦啊。

有了提示，
考試當然是高空飛過。

只是，在香港學習韓語，
除了跟班上的同學練習對話以外，
真的沒有機會練習了。
加上我對韓國娛樂圈的興趣是零，
叫我看劇集，
我實在是……
真的完全提不起勁啊。

不過，
來了韓國以後，
總算發現自己原來有多麼不足。
只是，
我終究還是個外國人，
而且這語言我在外地學了一年多而已，
還能怎樣呢?

算了，
這一切都是懶惰的藉口。

重新出發。

Charlotte Church - Even God

Even God can't change the past
No matter how many tears I've cried
Yes, I thought this love would last
Who am I to question why?
Who am I?

Darling, when I'm hurt
That's when I'm satisfied
Tell me what it's worth
To pursue the Holy life
I can see your face
Even when I close my eyes
I can give you love
Even when I've been denied

Who's loving who?
Who's fooling who?

Even God can't change the past
No matter how many tears I've cried
Yes, I thought this love would last
Who am I to question why?
Who am I?

Darling, what is love
If it never gets you high?
Should we sit and wait
While the wasted years roll by?
Is there time to say
If I lied, I apologize
Never go away
Please stay here by my side

Who's fooling who?
Who's loving who?

Even God can't change the past
No matter how many tears I've cried
Yes I thought this dream would last
Who am I to question why?
Who am I?

They try to break you
They try to steal your stars
If they ever take you
Just remember who you are
They try to hate you
Just like some love bizarre
It's a sign of weakness
To be afraid of what you are

Who's loving who?
Who's fooling who?

Even God can't change the past
No matter how many tears I've cried
Yes I thought this pain would pass
Who am I to question why?

終究

不開心，我不開心。
真的不開心。

讓你心裡難受，
然後，
我們都難受……

甚麼第不第一次的，
其實基本沒有必要記住。
因為那不值得記住，
那只是沒有養份的回憶。

眼淚在眼眶裡打轉……

愚笨，
就這麼的愚笨…

終究我還是那個最自私的人。

最著重自己感受，
不願意把該放手的放手的人。


Even God.

Varsity Fanclub - Lost Then Found

You don’t gotta worry anymore
Girl I got a feeling since you walked through the door
That we don’t need nobody but the two of us
Just you and me against the world

We don’t gotta look for it, it's so hard
You and me were lost now we’re in each others arms
Finally we found something that we can hold
And I can’t let it go cause now (tell me how)

Lost in your love and it's pulled me in
Searching for some kind of sign to begin
Caught in your world and I'm turned around
Now that you got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
You got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
Now that you got me lost then found

I don’t go to see it to believe
All that I gotta know is that you never would leave
And you don’t need the story of how my heart broke
Cause I can tell you already know

I don't know how he treats you so bad
I can almost hear all of the things that he said
But we don’t need to spend even one minute longer
Thinkin' about the past
What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger now

Lost in your love and it's pulled me in
Searching for some kind of sign to begin
Caught in your world and I'm turned around
Now that you got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
You got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
Now that you got me lost then found

Whenever you’re lost at sea baby just call for me
Cause you know I’ll be calling for you
Whenever you turn the page dance on another stage
Know in this life I’ll be dancing with you

Took me, you got me and turned me around
Now look what we found...

Lost in your love and it's pulled me in
Searching for some kind of sign to begin
Caught in your world and I'm turned around
Now that you got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
You got me lost then found
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
I’m looking and you’re looking
Now that you got me lost then found